i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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