Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
