I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
