I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
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