I cockslap morals
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
