he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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