I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
