hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
