Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize