oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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