it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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