I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
