I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
