College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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