So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
