i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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