He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize