Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
