mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
