So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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