I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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