GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
