Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
