Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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