We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
