5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize