Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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