Don't you send me to vm
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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