So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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