My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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