She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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