...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
