i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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