someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
