You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
