Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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