So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
