I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize