But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
