I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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