Whod you bang
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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