Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
