Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
