I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
