Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
