Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
