Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
