Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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