After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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