Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
