But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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