just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
