The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I pour the whiskey from now on
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
tell me about the fingering
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
