do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
