Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
