so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize