Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
3 2 1 whiskey
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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