my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
